Who Should Plan the Honeymoon? Tips for Splitting the Work and the Fun
Jul, 24 2025
Most couples argue about wild things—pizza toppings, Netflix queues, leaving socks everywhere. But booking the honeymoon? That’s a battleground all its own. I’ve heard friends debate this more than who should take out the trash. Is it the groom’s job, some sort of final chivalrous gesture? Or does it land on the bride as the “master planner”? Does it matter if you’ve both traveled together before, or is everyone just blindly scrolling through Bali hashtags hoping for inspiration?
Turns out, one in three couples have serious disagreements over their honeymoon planning, according to a 2024 global survey of newlyweds by Honeyfund. Not because of money—but because of expectations and who should handle the bookings. With travel prices rising, and options from private islands to backpacker treks, this isn’t just about choosing a date. It's about carving out your first real memories as a married couple. So who pulls the trigger on plane tickets? And is there a right way to tackle it, or is someone doomed to end up grumpy before they even board the flight?
The Honeymoon Planning Dilemma: Who Traditionally Books the Trip?
Back in the day, one partner—usually the groom—was expected to sweep the bride off her feet with a surprise getaway. Old movies show men calling up a travel agent, booking suites in Paris, shocking their new spouse. Those days are mostly gone. Now, couples are marrying older, budgets are shared, and travel has gotten complicated. You need visas, logins to half a dozen apps, loyalty points, and the ability to read between the lines of “pool view.”
Today, 78% of couples plan their post-wedding escape together. Some say it's part of the fun. According to a report from WeddingWire, only 9% leave all planning to one person, and 85% consult each other for almost every decision—down to breakfast options. It's rare for either partner to fly blind. For LGBTQ+ couples, there’s no default role, and the same holds for couples where one spouse is just way better at travel hacking or scavenging deals. The myth that booking the honeymoon is just one person’s “job” is fading fast.
But what about those who want a little tradition? In a recent poll by The Knot, 28% of couples still said the “element of surprise” was important, and about 15% had one partner handle all bookings in secret. This can be fun, but it’s risky—missed preferences, food allergies, or even just one person hating sand. If you want the surprise, set basic parameters: agree on a continent, climate, must-haves and absolute no-nos, then let one person build the itinerary.
Still, most experts agree—sharing the work works best. Wedding pressure is real. Jetting off without a meltdown in baggage claim? That’s already a win.
Splitting the Work: How Modern Couples Book Honeymoons Together
If you both care, don’t leave it to one. Here’s what works: methodical and honest teamwork. Try dividing and conquering. One person handles flights, the other researches hotels. One sets up the shared Google Doc, the other fills it with ideas. Want to keep costs down? Use tools like Skyscanner, Google Flights, and Hopper to compare deals. For bookings, split duties—like one books the activities (diving, vineyard tours, spa days), the other sorts out transfers and arrival arrangements.
An underrated tip: assign tasks based on each other’s strengths. Is one of you a map geek who knows how to avoid tourist traps? Maybe that’s your chief itinerary architect. Does someone have a knack for finding those hotels with infinity pools that don’t break the bank? That can be their jam. If one of you wants to surprise the other, set a “mystery night” (or two) where only they know the agenda—keeps the magic alive but reduces the chance of misfires.
Communication is king. Check in—a short weekly or bi-weekly meeting keeps things from going off the rails. Use a shared email account for bookings; that way, lost passwords aren’t an issue in the heat of an airport dash. Track payments and receipts together in a simple spreadsheet (or wedding planning app). Fun fact: couples who use shared digital planning tools report 42% fewer conflicts over their honeymoon bookings.
And yes, ask around. Some of the best tips come from that couple you know who just got back from Santorini. Crowdsource recommendations, but filter them so they match your vibe. Don’t want to hike 12 miles on your first morning ever as a married couple? That’s fair. Build your own rules.
| Who Books Honeymoon? | Percentage (2024) |
|---|---|
| Both together | 78% |
| One partner surprises | 15% |
| Leave to a travel agent | 7% |
One of the best pieces of advice I’ve heard came from travel writer Rick Steves, who said:
“When you share the work, you share the joy—and the stories you’ll be telling long after your tan fades.”
This isn’t just nice-sounding fluff—research from Psychology Today shows that couples who collaborate on travel report feeling more satisfied with both the trip and the relationship months afterward.
Tips, Tricks, and Common Pitfalls to Dodge
The secret sauce? Think ahead, stay flexible, and don’t get petty about who did more. Here are some field-tested tips for nailing your honeymoon planning together:
- Book early. It sounds old school, but prices spike closer to dates, especially now with global travel surges.
- Use price alerts everywhere. Even if you’re set on a destination, there’s wiggle room on dates and flights—and that saves cash for cool splurges like sunset dinners.
- Edit the dream. You’ll never do everything. Prioritize a few “non-negotiables” per person and work around those.
- Add downtime. After the wedding madness, you’ll thank yourself for an extra day with no tours or agendas.
- Main contact for changing bookings? Appoint one—otherwise, wires get crossed, and someone ends up with two massages or no dinner reservation.
- Vet accommodations. Sites like Booking.com and Airbnb can look amazing in photos but check recent reviews—sometimes the pool is mysteriously out of order, or construction noise is a rude awakening.
- Travel insurance. Not sexy, but crucial when flights get canceled or luggage wanders off.
- Set a “cut-off” date for major decisions so you’re not arguing over room types on the way to the airport.
- Make a “honeymoon fund” to avoid draining wedding cash or playing credit roulette after the fact.
- For surprises, consider small gifts or a mystery excursion instead of the whole trip. That leaves room for shared excitement and zero drama.
Biggest pitfall? Trying to pack everything you couldn’t fit in the wedding into the honeymoon—your itinerary should be a celebration, not another exhausting checklist. Another? Assuming your partner wants exactly what you do. Some folks want relaxation, others crave adventure, and sometimes you won’t know until you talk about it, honestly and openly. Full disclosure: I once booked a desert hike in July—yes, July—without checking if my partner was up for 110° heat. Rookie mistake.
Don’t forget little details—like dietary needs, hotel check-in times, or even which side of the bed you prefer. These things matter after 24 hours in transit. And when in doubt? Remember, it’s not about pulling off the “perfect” trip; it's about getting a head start on a lifetime of compromise, teamwork, and stories together. Even if someone forgets the sunscreen or the adapter plug—for the third time.
If you hit a snag, laugh it off. Those are the travel stories you’ll tell for years. In a world spinning faster every day, taking the time to plan your first escape together sets a tone for everything ahead. And who books the trip? Honestly, you both do—at least, you should. That’s the secret to coming home with more than just souvenirs.